Genius=8 is out here

HI! I love you and I heart you so much! You, precious page, are the ethereal extension of this girl right here. You are the face of my astral self, reflections on personal experience that all mash together into some greater picture of what it means to be JESSICA. The pronouns are starting to get confusing so I will cut that out.

This blog entry is brought to you by PUMA.

Autumn is in full swing, or as we now refer to it in this totally awesomely messed up nation, "swine flu season". Oooo Kay. Things get weirder every day. When I was a kid I was always worried things wouldn't be weird enough, that it would get boring. But here I sit typing away in the library, surrounded by psychos and retards. I have two peices of quiche lorraine in my black suede Billabong purse. I have sixty cents in my checking account at a bank that apologizes for the fact that their system will be down for the next two weeks, resulting in no one being able to check their balance. MMMM, this is great quiche. I have been living at the Red Roof Inn for the past week. Watching HBO and eating organic cheese doodles. My boyfriend is totally freaked out by band-aids and blue and white handi-cap wheel chair signs. They have the power to completely ruin his entire day. Only "minorities" and insane people use library computers, don't have driver's licenses. I feel like I live a full life, yet when people ask me what I've been doing, I never have anything to say. My boyfriend makes alot of money, but we don't live in a house because he doesn't believe in landlords, rent, and security deposits. Neither do I for that matter.

My sisters are really nice people. Now that they have jobs, they are always buying me things. I wish I had a money so I could buy them stuff. They understand Swage. Why is this man sitting next to me? Now I can't sneak eat the quiche. I guess that means it is time to find a book.

Once again it has been months since I last wrote. A lot of things have changed, a lot of things have not. I have been sucking New Jersey all summer. Oh, the special stench. Of course I don't go to the beach here, I never did like it  and now that I know what a nice beach is like, it is so much worse. Which brings me to my peeve of the week;

this stupid f-er just vanished it all.

So to re-cap;

Why moms are irritating

Because they always think you are looking at their kid and thinking about how cute it is, when you weren't and then giving you the self-satisfied simper smirk.

Or else their eyes dart at you and say "Keep away from my precious baby grr".

Or stroller jogging, or expecting you to get out of their way, or taking their kids to places where I am just trying to enjoy quiet unsanctimonious time.

Just because you have a baby suddenly everything is about you and that baby. A baby is just a small person. Not some new and amazing facet of the human quilt story wonderment. Just another person who will stain and embarrass existence. Hey, it is inevitable we all do it.

I just read two Margeret Atwood novels. I wouldn't reccomend her to anyone, she is brilliant but too creepy, way too creepy. She must be really pissed off.

Item 2 Annie Lennox Best-of still plaguing every hour of every day since its release. Go to Barnes and Noble, if it isn't on now, just wait a little. Same with Borders. This has been going on since at least January. Why wont someone say something? Her songs are like little worms borrowing into my brain.She is like the sanctity wonderment of a crapping screaming baby. So emotional, so deep. ::gag::

I am so bored so I am just into complaining.

So for the enitre winter that I have spent way too many hours in Borders or Barnes n Noble, reading entire books without buying them, Annie Lennox' Best of has played non-stop. From here to California. It has been at least four months. Every single bookstore. I want to know, why? I want to know if anyone else has noticed. I understand the monotany of retail background music, I do. I have paid far more attention to it than most people do.

But never have I encountered an album so crushingly relentless. In more than one store, and for this long.

Why would I even want to buy this cd now, I know I can just go to a bookstore and listen to it in its entirety forever and ever.

I have always hated ms. Lennox's music.

Just blew through two Atwood novels

The Handmaid's Tale

The Handmaid's Tale and Oryx and Crake

Oryx and Crake (Random House Large Print)

Not sure if I enjoyed them and not sure if I would reccomend them. Atwood is brilliant and hilarious but also very creepy. Too creepy.

It is so boring and trashy around here, and more and more people are losing their minds and shuffling around with head gear strapped on their faces, having loud conversations with the wind.

I wish old people would act less embarrassingly, I wish moms would stop dragging their toddlers to the places where I am.

Moms are so annoying how they always think you are looking at their kid and thinking about how wonderful their kid is even though you weren't even thinking anything to do with the kid and then they give you this simpering self satisfied smile.

Or the moms who think that you are plotting to kidnap their precious baby and molest it so they give you this look like, "I see everything grrr", and all you were thinking was "that kid is getting coffee cake everywhere, how disgusting".

I guess moms are holy and great but mostly they seem irritating.

Like when they go jogging with their super sporty strollers, or when they take their illiterate one year olds to some place where people just want to read in peace.

Look I need to vent. Somehow my mom never seemed as insipid and annoying and didn't act completely unaware of her surroundings when she had babies, or stroller jog. This is why I don't think any of the above is necessary to the health and safety of children. Whatever.

People annoy the crap out of me more than ever now because it seems that no matter where I go at whatever time of day, there is this constant stream of people that is inescapable. They are all about doing things that annoy me. Like weed-whacking, idling their cars for hours in the parking lots, having several ear-numbingly loud phone conversations in a row, or glaring at me for no particular reason. I am not loud or disgusting.

Bobby Flay opened some burger palace at the mall, and it is really delicious. For some reason Mike thinks bobby Flay is amazing, like he calls him "

So today I applied online for a job at the Omega Institute. They give housing for seasonal workers and you get free yoga and food. It is in Rhinebeck NY. They better contact me. I am getting so friggin antsy.

You want to know about the bum life? Well you have to wake up and be active every morning no matter what the weather is. And you can't be active doing things you like, because you have no privacy. So you peel your disabled twisted back off the bench seat. Sullenly pull on sodden clothes, depending on the last time you had a chance to launder them, and stalk out into the chilly wet morning. Where can you go to be warm, dry, to wash your pits in a sink? To have a precious few moments in the privacy of a public restroom. There is invariably one location for all bums. Starbucks. Everyone knows this.

So you go to Starbucks with your conscientious reusable bum mug and your very own tea bags. The nice employees already know you. They don't care. They will give you free hot water, they will give you free ice water. They never complain when you sit in the same chair for three hours, never purchasing a thing, eating crackers from a plastic bag that says "Dollar Tree" on it.

They probably know your name, and so do the other bum regulars. They all have an angle with their endless tea refills and their journals and their own individual tirades-of -choice. Some of the bums I know like to talk about "The Market."

It all sounds very smart to me. There a chess bums, yoga bums, wall street bums, vedanta bums.

When you get sick of listening to Ella and Dean, you invariably shuffle on to the library. To use the free internet and milk that for at least an hour and a half. That is where you can greet all your mutterer crazy bum compadres. They like the internet, and you do too. Blogging always makes you feel like you've accomplished something. Like you are just some anonymous unappreciated savant.

Bum-dom is alot about staving off hunger, or finding that magical three-dollar meal. In this regard, Whole Foods Market is the mecca of Bum Culinary culture. At Whole Foods a bum can eat like a king.

Brie with mango peach jam. Drunken goat cheese, Fresh crab cakes. All in little bite size souffle cups. But if you can non-chalantly nab enough of 'em without anyone catching the whiff of your desperation, you can trick your stomach into feeling like its experienced a four course meal. The feeling a fullness is so foreign to me now.

So on an uncreative, or rainy day, it's an endless shuffle between Starbucks, the friendly sample rich health food store of choice, and the library. If it's sunny and warm, you will probably be so exhausted from all the nights of not-sleeping, that as soon as those sun rays hit, you are napping like a drooling baby all day.

Oh, but the glorious lessons one can learn through such trials of body and spirit. Oh the boredom!

i hadn't realized how long it's been since i posted. well i stayed in florida for two months and then we got bored, decided to go west. wow so much of the southwest is a desolate wasteland. there are like, no whole foods markets. what do they expect me to eat, beef jerkey and cookies? well we went to san francisco and i have spent all of january, and february getting to know this city. i first i really felt enamoured. the food, views and parks are awesome. but it rained for practically two months straight which was dismal. and nobody seemed warm and friendly. just staring into their laptops like their lives depended on it, how boring! this town seems like a real bluetoother stroller mom north face kinda town. i am sure it people are more vibrant when it is not winter. but california in general kinda has a weird creepy undertone to it.

i love the hills, the neat houses, the ocean view and golden gate park. they seem to let the insane people and vagabonds run amok which isn't so great. just lock em up for chrissakes! what they need to express their individuality by cracking open eggs in the starbucks and ruining public bathrooms? oh man the library was the worst! it seems the civic center area was gross bum central. you couldn't even hide out in a lonely corner of the reference floor without nearly choking on the noxious perfume of some creep. i have been homeless on and off for almost four years and i have never felt the compulsion to abandon hygiene and start stumbling and croaking at people. yuck.

so all in all, several factors decided the gradual return to the east. cali knocks you out for a cool grande or so to register an out of state vehicle. our beloved chevy malibu needs re registering in jersey soon. (now) i am not a california girl. don't get me wrong i am so glad i went! i wouldn't change that at all. there are lots of things i will miss.

so after the most hellish journey. (stuck in a traffic jam for 6 hours at night in DONNER PASS, nevada, wyoming. )

we are cooling our heels in lovely boulder, co. which is awesome. and the library is the best ever and no gross bums. but we are once again broke until wednesday. thursday is my b day. whoohoo! so a cross country trip thsi has indeed become, solely funded by nj unemployment. which means i have become the absolute monarch of thrift, i have slept in a bed once in almost four months and i haven't any souvenirs in tow.

when we get back to nj hopefully spring will be making itself known. and i need a way to make money, and i would like to move out of the car. and maybe i have learned what is and isn't worth risking security and comfort. a sense of freedom is a pretty elusive thing.  

i have gotten showers because i go to every ymca in the city and convince them i need a few free days there before i fully commit to a membership.

i have eaten fairly regularly because of trader joes and mexican food. both healtthfully cheap.

i have read TONS because when it rains all day you can stay in barnes and noble for twelve hours.

it was nuts and often depressing but i feel like i got stripped of alot of junk clanking around in my mind. nothing but time to mull it over.  blah blah blah

so things that stink are, you can't park for free, anywhere, ever. everyone here is so out of it! the car in front of you on the busy street will just sort of stop. people on the sidewalk pay no mind to the laws of physics, they will just plow into you. everyone is very into themselves, how they look, very snobby and vain. there are of course the normal down-to-earth types but, tons of  narcissus types.

alot of this place is hype, all surface, no substance. you could complain about the price of things, only if you are not as ingenius as me.

the guy who hired me, his name is mike. he is forty one and has one of those crazy brains i always fall in love with. just nuts. the first day when i got done working i just decided to follow him across the street as he went for his ritual martini. he ordered one for me too and regaled me with his crazy stories. i think he exists on this planet to collect crazy stories. later, outside, there was a reggaeton sort of but mellow band setting up, to play and be filmed in the street. when i got to dancing i think i got filmed as much as they did. cuz you know when i dance i just go all out.

i could feel all the stress and heartbreak of the past while fly out of me. there is no better way to get it out.

so i think i am in the right place down here, i already have a job and a good friend and it has only been two weeks. i will have this place so wired in a year or two. but you should come visit me sooner!!

i am sitting here at my new job in south beach, writing this to you. the world erotic art museum, largest collection on display yada yada. it is a cool place. i stare at a picture of marilyn monroes unmentionables all afternoon, and greet customers.

my couple weeks in daytona beach were the most stressful and bizarre ever. let's just say, i was on my best behavior, mike was trying his hardest, and others involved exhibited the nuttiest most unredeemable behavior i've witnessed.

so we really needed a break after thanksgiving. this place, miami beach, is crazy cool and just plain crazy. my first favorite thing is the aquamarine water, warm enough to bathe in now. the waves are never harsh. there are so many cool clothes stores, everything is always open. there is a cyber cafe open all hours, where you can buy used books and get cruised by fashionable italians. everyone here is brazilian, french, italian, or russian. so far as i can tell.

all the buildings are art deco, from the hotels to the supercuts. art is every where, and alot of it is really good.

there are tons of super fashionable model wannabes, but as always i am still the coolest hottest chick in town. it is my birthright.  more to come soon!